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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:48
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If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
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The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
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Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
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In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
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An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
I am not young enough to know everything.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
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If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
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If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
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The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
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In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
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The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
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Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
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If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
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I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
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I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
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A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
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Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
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In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
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The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Men have become the tools of their tools.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
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And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
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Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
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Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 23:12
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